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Future Tech: 

Meet the world’s angriest robot

You wouldn't like him when he's angry. Mind you, you probably wouldn't much care for him when he's calm either.

You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry. Mind you, you probably wouldn’t much care for him when he’s calm either. In any case, this isn’t the actual robot.

A New Zealand company is working on developing an angry robot.

The company – which you may think should be called ‘Death Wish Inc.’, but is actually ‘Touchpoint Group’ – isn’t doing this with a view to ending this whole humanity experiment early. It’s actually designed to train employees in dealing with angry customers.

In what would be classed as a cruel and unusual punishment for any sentient being, the angry robot will have hundreds of millions of grumpy consumer diatribes uploaded to its database. It will then repeat these at will like the most obnoxious party guest you could possibly imagine.

Speaking to The Telegraph, Dr Stuart Armstrong from the reassuringly named ‘Future of Humanity Institute’ at Oxford University explained that this is pretty straightforward and not half as threatening as it sounds. “Why would we be afraid of a human who’s angry? Well, because they might do something stupid and lash out.”

“Robots are not going to start punching the person at the other end of the phone or spreading angry messages on Twitter. They’re not going to do a whole host of things that you would expect a genuinely angry person to do– unless it had been programmed to do that.”

It’s unlikely Touchpoint Group will want to do that, after investing over $400,000 in the project. Besides, it’s not the angry robots you want to look out for – it’s the quiet ones. Or, as Dr Armstrong puts it: “If you want to cause harm, create a murderous robot but don’t make it angry.”

Somehow that wasn’t as reassuring as we had hoped. Can someone please read it in a soothing robotic voice? Like that nice computer from 2001: A Space Odyssey?

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