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They Did What?: 

5 minute beer mile broken

Beer Mile record

Is he running, or is he dancing? Either way he looks DELIGHTED.

In an achievement right up there with Sir Roger Bannister’s 1954 sub-four minute mile time, the seemingly impossible five minute beer mile has been broken.

The beer mile, which until just now I was blissfully unaware was a thing, is where heavy boozing meets athletics, ideally (though lamentably, not necessarily) without vomiting. Athletes have to cover four laps of a standard 400 meter running track, downing a beer on every lap for a total of four beers.

Is that a loop-hole I spy?

By jove, I think I’ve found a loop hole!

Anyway, in a stunning YouTube display where recklessness meets meticulous forward planning, James “The Beast” Nielsen completed the nauseating event with an incredible time of just four minutes, 57 seconds to be crowned the undisputed Beer Mile King. You can see his historic run below. Unsurprisingly, it culminates with the phrase “It’s really painful”.

To date lists 18,122 times from around the world. The most popular beverage to attempt the mile with is Budweiser with 2,101 (including new champion Nielsen), which dwarves the 28 brave fools who attempted the same thing with Guinness. Never before have the letters DNF made me feel quite so nauseous.

Don’t mind me, I’m just grumpy that somebody has managed to beat my mile time by a clear two and a half minutes while drinking enough beer to put them over the driving limit. While we’re here, it’s also worth noting it’s possible to run a mile backwards while juggling (‘joggling’) faster than I can run the same distance forwards, so it’s possible I’m not the best benchmark.

Photo: IvanNikulin/
Photo: indigolotos/

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This makes me feel sick even to think about.
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