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Designer cheese tools that every connoisseur should own

Cheese is officially known as the best thing ever. It comes in all sorts of textures and there are thousands of varieties, all of them great. The only reason we made such an effort to land a man on the moon is because we thought it was made of the stuff. Anyone who doesn’t like it should be treated only with pity and suspicion.

To sum up, cheese is good. In its honour, then, we’ve compiled a list of must-have cheese accessories that every connoisseur should have. This is our homage to fromage…

1. Say Cheese Instant Slicer

cheese slicer body

“Say cheese!”

It looks just like a classic Polaroid camera, but it’s so much more. Simply drag this utensil over the top of your favourite cheese and watch as the slices develop. Designed to work better with hard cheeses, the Say Cheese Instant Slicer is a lot smaller than an actual Polaroid camera but is still just as mighty. As Firebox says, “You Cheddar believe it when we say you’d have to Brie completely Emmental not to buy it”. It’ll cost just $17 to do so.

Cheese fact #1: Cheese is a great source of vitamin B12, which is key to healthy brain function.


2. Koziol Kasimir Cheese Grater

hedgehog grater body

Grate your cheddar through his prickly body

This prickly chap is perfect for finely grating parmesan; it’s ergonomic and comfortable and looks good living in the middle of your dining table (because obviously, like a hero, you eat cheese with every single meal). Hewn from moulded plastic, it’s also dishwasher safe, because cheese graters aren’t the best things to scrub by hand. Prices range from around $9 to $14 on Amazon.

Cheese fact #2: The patron saint of cheesemongers is St Bartholomew the Apostle.


3. Party Pick Set Clog

cheese pick body

Warning: May clog your arteries

This fun party pick set includes a wooden clog, with six party skewers with which to do battle over the last square of tasty goodness. Part of Boska’s Fun With Cheese collection, it offers a typical Dutch experience to any party. Everything you see here is also dishwasher safe, which is marvellous. It’ll set you back just $19.99. Boska began in Bodegraven, Holland, near where the original Gouda cheese is made. They’ve been making cheese tools for over 100 years.

Cheese fact #3: It takes 10 liters of milk to make one kilogram of hard cheese.

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