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The internet’s 5 craziest conspiracy theories

The internet loves a conspiracy theory. Spend any decent length of time browsing the web and you’ll probably come across your fair share, many of which involve a nefarious link between a high-profile celebrity and the illuminati. Jay Z? Nailed-on illuminati. Barack Obama? Soooo illuminati. Bieber? You guessed it – illuminati.

Sure, tinfoil hat-wearing conspiracy theorists can be an unimaginative bunch, but, as the below examples go to prove, that isn’t always the case. So, make yourself comfortable, go fetch a strong coffee and prepare to hear five of the internet’s craziest conspiracy theories.

The internet’s 5 craziest conspiracy theories;

1. Homer Simpson has been in a coma for 20 years


Sorry to break to you Homer, but all of this is happening in your imagination

Having a corker of a conspiracy theory is one thing, but you’re going to need plenty of fuel to make it stick. Look no further than Reddit then, which might as well be the engine room where conspiracy theories are born, shot down or sent out into the world to be gleefully analyzed elsewhere. Much of this stuff is passionately debated every day over on the Fan Theories subreddit, which is exactly where we found this gem concerning America’s longest-running sitcom oaf.

Yes, The Simpsons may have been gracing our screens since 1989, but, according to one Reddit user, its leading man has been in a coma since April 1993, and every single episode that’s happened since then has occurred in his imagination. Hang on, roll your eyes back into the front of your head, and let’s hear them out.

It all stems from an early episode of the show in October 1992, when in a conversation with God, Homer is told he’ll die in six months time. Then, in an April 1993 episode (six months later), he falls into a coma after Bart inadvertently crushes him with a vending machine. Co-incidence? WE THINK NOT. The theory then goes that Homer never wakes up from the coma, explaining why the characters have never aged in two decades, and also why the show’s episodes have moved from simple family drama to increasingly wacky subject matters in subsequent years. “This is clearly Homer’s imagination running wild” insists the theorist, “with no real world restrictions, Homer’s mind is able to dream up scenarios of him and his family.”

Well, at least that goes some way to explaining this.

2. Cats are spies sent to earth by aliens


Curiosity killed the cat

If you were on the fence about Homer’s coma, then frankly this one is going to be an uphill battle – particularly if you’re a cat lover. You see, you might describe your little feline friend as a loner or ‘free spirt’, but according to one cynical, possibly dog-loving corner of the internet there’s something much more sinister at play. To be more specific, there’s a theory that cats may in fact be alien sentinels deployed on Earth to spy on our behavior and report back to their tentacled overlords.

So, surely there’s some evidence cited in support of this wild claim? You can find a comprehensive list over at Motherboard, but to quickly summarize;

  • Ancient Egyptians worshipped cats, yet there is no prior documentation of their existence.
  • Cats have super landing-on-their-feet alien powers.
  • Sleeping cats are known to jolt awake and make sudden exits, presumably to receive “transmissions from the mothership”.
  • If you hold back a cat’s ears, it looks a bit like an alien.
  • There is no scientific explanation for a cat’s purr.

We’re afraid to say that seems pretty much conclusive, we’re almost afraid to find out what the theorists will come up with next…

3. Google is Skynet


We’re with this guy, “don’t be evil” doesn’t seem like such a big ask

We love robots here at GoExplore, can’t get enough of them, but with each new advance in robotics, like clockwork you can guarantee doomsayers will emerge to predict the end of the civilized world. It’s okay to be wary – even Stephen Hawking has his reservations – but according to one outlandish theory, our robot conquerors have already begun building their armies, all under the banner of one of the world’s biggest corporations, Google.

It’s easy to be skeptical of conspiracy theorists but, but in the spirit of fairness, the ‘Google is Skynet’ claim isn’t as baseless as it might seem. For starters, it owns Boston Dynamics, a company that has actually been contracted to build robots for the US military, although you may remember it from the much more harmless-sounding Spot, the robo dog. Google is also developing driverless cars, making humans even more dependent on machines, while it’s also tracking our whereabouts and actions though services like Maps, Mail and Calendars.

The truth is if any single company is equipped to end humanity, then it’s probably Google, so maybe it’s time you started hiding from its all-seeing eye, after all.

4. Pixar Movies are all part of one universe 

The roots of the ‘Pixar Theory’ go as far back as 2003, but it picked up steam in 2013 after Jon Negroni – a movie buff with far too much time on his hands – turned years of blog posts and forum discussions into a thesis. Here he makes the lengthy argument (and we mean lengthy) that every character created by Pixar lives in the same universe, occurring at vastly different time periods. Although the theory has been dismissed by a number of Pixar creatives, it hasn’t stopped it from gaining momentum – it even has a dedicated website.

According to Pixar theory, the Pixar story begins with Brave in the 14th Century and possible ends with Monsters, Inc, thought to be set between the year 4,500 and 5,000. What’s great about this conspiracy theory is the sheer level of detail involved in-between, and really you’re better off watching the excellently-made explainer video above than read our ham-fisted summaries.

Now you’ve watched the video, we can tell you that Negroni more or less concedes that his theory is little more than a bit of fun: “The point of this theory is to have fun and exercise your imagination while simultaneously finding interesting connections between these fantastic movies,” he explains. “If you hate fun and/or imagination, you probably won’t like this theory.”

5. Paul McCartney is dead


I don’t know what he’s so happy about, he’s been dead since 1966

Finally, a classic conspiracy theory that was circulated long before the internet even existed, but one that refuses to go away. If you’re new to it, it follows that the real Sir Paul McCartney died in a car accident back in 1966, replaced by a lookalike so as not to burst the bubble of Beatlemania.

Look deep enough into the lyrics of Beatles songs and you can probably patch together a theory for pretty much anything. ‘Evidence’ for the Paul is Dead rumors include brief moments from songs such as ‘Strawberry Fields Forever’, in which John Lennon can be heard saying “I buried Paul”,  although in truth he was probably referring to sound levels. Meanwhile, if you play “I’m So Tired” backwards (a trick found at the heart of all of the craziest conspiracy theories), Lennon can allegedly be heard saying “Paul is a dead man. Miss Him. Miss Him.”

The story originated in the 1960s, but frequently resurfaces, most recently after a fake news website ran an ‘interview’ with Beatles drummer Ringo Starr in which he confirmed the cover-up. ‘Paul McCartney’ recently dismissed the rumors (for probably the 100th time) in an interview with David Letterman, but then he would say that, wouldn’t he?

Google photo via Steve Rhodes / Flickr

Paul McCartney photo via Wikipedia

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